Finding Strength in Small Steps: Lessons from Dr. Becky Kennedy and Self Defense Academy Colorado Springs
- Self Defense Academy COS
- Apr 6
- 5 min read
Recently, I had the pleasure of tuning into the Huberman Lab podcast featuring Dr. Andrew Huberman and Dr. Becky Kennedy, a clinical psychologist renowned for her insights into parenting, emotional resilience, and human connection. The episode, titled "Dr. Becky Kennedy: Overcoming Guilt & Building Tenacity in Kids & Adults," aired on January 13, 2025, and is packed with wisdom that transcends parenting and applies to anyone striving to grow—adults and kids alike. One gem from the conversation particularly stood out: a piece of advice Dr. Kennedy received from her third-grade teacher, Miss Edson. She shared, “If something feels too hard to start, it just means the first step isn’t small enough.” This simple yet profound idea resonates deeply with the philosophy we embrace at Self Defense Academy Colorado Springs, where we’re committed to meeting our students—especially our youth—right where they are, helping them thrive without overwhelming them.
The Power of Small Steps
In the podcast, Dr. Kennedy recounts how Miss Edson’s advice became a cornerstone of her approach to tackling challenges. She explains that when a task feels insurmountable, it’s not a sign of failure or inadequacy—it’s a signal that the initial step needs to be broken down further. This mindset shift fosters tenacity by making progress feel achievable rather than daunting. Dr. Huberman and Dr. Kennedy explore how this applies to kids developing frustration tolerance, a critical skill for learning and growth, but it’s just as relevant for adults navigating life’s complexities.
Here’s the clip where Dr. Kennedy shares this insight (watch it for yourself to feel the warmth and wisdom she brings):
At Self Defense Academy Colorado Springs, we see this principle in action every day. Martial arts can seem intimidating at first—kicks, punches, forms, and self-defense techniques might feel like a mountain to climb for a beginner. But we don’t expect our students to summit that mountain on day one. Instead, we break it down into small, manageable steps, tailoring our instruction to each individual’s current level. Whether it’s a child in our thriving youth program or an adult stepping onto the mat for the first time, our goal is to ensure the “first step” feels approachable, building confidence and momentum from there.
Meeting Students Where They Are
Our approach mirrors Dr. Kennedy’s philosophy: overwhelm stifles growth, but small, intentional steps cultivate resilience. In our youth program, which has been growing steadily thanks to the incredible support of our community, we focus on teaching kids at a pace they can handle. We don’t pile on advanced techniques before they’ve mastered the basics. For example, a young student might start with learning how to stand in a proper stance—simple, yet foundational—before progressing to a basic strike or Throw. This scaffolding ensures they feel successful at every stage, reinforcing their belief in their own capabilities.
Parents have noticed the difference this makes. Our Google reviews are filled with feedback from families who appreciate how we prioritize their kids’ growth over arbitrary benchmarks. One parent wrote, “The instructors at Self Defense Academy are amazing with my son. They meet him at his level and make learning fun, not stressful. He’s gained so much confidence!” Another shared, “I love that it’s not about winning or losing here—it’s about my daughter thriving and feeling strong.” These testimonials reflect what we strive for: a space where kids can develop physically, mentally, and emotionally without the pressure of being “the best” right out of the gate.
Thriving Over Winning
Dr. Kennedy’s conversation with Dr. Huberman also touches on reframing how we view challenges, a theme that aligns with our mission to overcome the stigma that martial arts is solely about competition—winning or losing. Too often, people associate martial arts with aggressive showdowns or trophies, but at Self Defense Academy Colorado Springs, we see it differently. It’s about thriving—building skills, character, and self-awareness. Yes, sparring will be part of the journey for those who choose it, but they’re not the heart of what we do. The heart is in those small steps: the moment a shy kid lands their first strke, the pride in a teen’s eyes when they master a self-defense move, or the adult who finds stress melting away after a class.
This perspective echoes Dr. Kennedy’s emphasis on building tenacity through manageable progress rather than perfection. She and Dr. Huberman discuss how kids (and adults) grow most when they’re supported in navigating frustration, not shielded from it or judged by it. Similarly, we don’t measure success by who can execute the flashiest move first. We celebrate the student who shows up, tries, and takes that next small step—because that’s where real strength is forged.
Our Growing Youth Program
Our youth program is a testament to this philosophy’s impact. It’s blossoming because parents see the value in an environment that nurtures their kids holistically. Through martial arts, we teach discipline, focus, and resilience, but we do it in a way that’s accessible and encouraging. Classes are structured to balance challenge with support, ensuring no one feels left behind or pushed beyond their capacity. As one parent noted in a review, “My child was hesitant at first, but the instructors made it so welcoming. Now they can’t wait to go back!” That excitement is what fuels our growth—it’s proof that when you meet kids where they are, they flourish.
Come Experience Self Defense Jiu Jitsu with Us
If Dr. Becky Kennedy’s advice from her third-grade teacher resonates with you—if you’ve ever felt stuck because a goal seemed too big—then I invite you to come experience what we’re building at Self Defense Academy Colorado Springs. Whether you’re a parent looking for a positive outlet for your child or an adult curious about martial arts, we’re here to help you take that first small step. Our doors are open to ages three to one hundred and three, and all skill levels. We promise to guide you at your pace, not ours.
Self Defense isn’t about winning or losing—it’s about thriving. It’s about discovering what you’re capable of, one achievable step at a time. So, let’s break down the stigma together and focus on growth over glory. Visit us, try a class, and see how small steps can lead to big transformations. We’re located in the lower level of the Co-Working Space The Next Us right here in Downtown Colorado Springs, ready to welcome you into our "Framily".
For more inspiration, check out the full Huberman Lab episode with Dr. Becky Kennedy—it’s a treasure trove of insights that’ll leave you rethinking how you approach challenges, for yourself and your loved ones. And who knows? Maybe your next small step will be stepping onto our mats. YOU Are Worth Defending!
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Thought of the Moment: " "If you can't fly then run. If you can't run then walk. If you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward." - Rev Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
Finding Strength in Small Steps: Lessons from Dr. Becky Kennedy and Self Defense Academy Colorado Springs
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